Hamilton "Ham" Sandwich, Esq. is running for office as a write-in candidate for Prince William County Commonwealth's Attorney. To those unfamiliar with Ham's comparative qualifications for office, this might come as somewhat of a surprise, but let us assure you that Ham posesses every bit the same skills and qualities as the incumbent officer holder, Mr. Paul Ebert, and is completely devoid of any capability to establish cronyism, corruption, and wastes of public resources in the office of Commonwealth Attorney.
It's time for a change in Prince William County, and Ham Sandwich has agreed to rise to the challenge and restore the public's confidence to the office of Commonwealth's Attorney. Prince William County, Manassas City and Manassas Park City voters can be certain that Ham Sandwich is dedicated to continuing many of the positive elements of Paul Ebert's legacy while bringing new ideas and new vision which will enhance the performance and effectiveness of the office. Ham's bold campaign focuses on the following issues:
- Criminals belong in jail.
- Only people who actually are criminals should be in jail.
- If you're not a criminal, you should not be in jail.
- If you are a criminal, we should put you in jail.
- Jail is only for criminals.
- If there are criminals who are not in jail, we should find out who and where they are and put them in jail.
- Jail is good, but only for criminals.
- Criminals are bad. They belong in jail.
- Felons belong in jail, too.
Ham will perform with the same skill and tenacity as the current office holder, and best of all is incapable of engaging in personal vendettas against political enemies. You know how friendly Ham Sandwich is. You know you can trust the goodness of Ham Sandwich. Now it's time to bring that goodness to the Commonwealth Attorney's office.
Stay tuned for developments in this exciting campaign. As Ham Sandwich's message continues to intrigue and engage voters, there will certainly be lots to discuss here.