He can do the job just as well as the current one

Ham Sandwich was born in Omar's Drive-In in 1956, and even as a young man displayed remarkable leadership abilities and a devotion to public service. He was nearly elected as the leader of the Minnesota Student's Association. After working on the campaign of Cap'n Shifty in 2000, he considered running in the 18th Congressional District in Ohio. Now Ham has returned to his home in Virginia and wishes to make his contribution to the public good closer to where his family roots are.

Ham quickly became popular among all branches of the military and has to date visited more overseas postings than even Bob Hope did during his long and storied life. Ham has long stood behind our fighting men and women, providing them encouragement and sustenance even in the nation's darkest hours.

Ham has known adversity. Ham was completely cleared of any involvement in the death of Mama Cass Eliot, a scandal which threatened to derail his political career until the baseless charges were shown to be a fraud. This experience has helped Ham to understand the importance of proper prosecutorial conduct, and inspires Ham to ensure that only criminals face the justice system.

Ham is a strong supporter of civil rights and the concept of innocent until proven guilty. Many a time people have said that a prosecutor could indict Ham Sandwich when Ham was not guilty of any crime nor in most cases anywhere remotely near where the alleged crime had been committed.

Ham is also a successful business leader, leading the effort to acquire IBM. Ham has been honored by having a mathematical theorem named after him, in honor of his contributions to science and mathematics, called the "Ham Sandwich Theorem". After earning his undergraduate degree in Applied Physics from Katz's Delicatessen in New York, Ham graduated from Algelo's Gourmet Delicatessen and School of Law in Richmond, VA. Ham is a member of the Virginia Bar (Golden Phoenix division) and a partner in the law firm of Dill & Gallinger.

Not paid for or authorized by any candidate